Conducting a sexperiment

(Strictly according to Masters and Johnson)

He keeps an anxious eye on his meters and dials.

“Love” he says,

“My darling dear”

(Verbal stimuli are an effective aphrodisiac

To the female psyche)

“My sweet are you sure,

Quite sure,

That all your electrodes are properly attached?

Because, Lover, Sweetheart,

My readings are low!”

Whilst his right hand

With remarkable dexterity

Employs bizarre stimulation techniques


His left hand adjusts the calibrations

And he furrows his brow

Concentrating on his other members.


She heaves a huge sigh

Threatening to dislodge him.

Bored to distraction

She mutters


Can it be

That you have a faulty plug?”

Copyright H. St.V. Beechey  January 1972.